A heartbreaking day

Namu at a show

Today it is very very hard to write a post, but our policy is to always be honest and so we will be and we also feel it is easier to write this now so people know than to later have to explain.

Last nigth we lost our Namu. We have many dogs and love them all, but of course some are special to our heart. Many years ago I saw a little puppy I really wanted to buy, but the breeder did not want to sell her to me. When I saw Namu starting to move around 3-4 weeks old I saw that dog and I knew I had to keep her. People who know me know that already when Namu was 4 weeks old I saw just her. She was a special one. Few puppies could move like her. She was small, some said don´t keep that small puppy, but I had no doubt I wanted my Namu.

Namu 3 months old

Namu grew up a beautiful little lady with a wonderful character. She looked just as that dog I saw many years ago and in my mind I thought what will be wrong with her. She had A hips, was optigen clear and had healthy eyes. People know I was joking and saying what will go wrong, it can not be a dog this great has everything rigth. Last nigth it went wrong. At dinner time we heard barking outside and Jesper ran out. Some dogs had started fighting. Our dogs don´t normally figth and they were only four girls out together who are normally good friends. We don´t know what happened. Two days ago the wolf was here and upset the dogs a lot. He was only few hundred meters from our house and the dogs were of course really upset. Yesterday we saw the footprints again in the morning. Maybe he was there again and upset them? Maybe it was the stress with moving and a new place and new routines?  Maybe it was because Pilvi started her season two days ago and Namu was coming into season too? I don´t know.

Namu 1 year old

Anyway fighting they were and Jesper told them to stop and brought Namu inside as she would not walk on her leg. I looked and saw a wound and called the vet. He was not here, but 150 kms away and said if it was a bite wound and the dog was otherwise healthy we could wait till next morning when he was back. He calmed me down and said normally a bite wound is not that bad it looks worse than it is. And first we thought to do so - to wait. Namu was happy, looking up, eating treats, licking our hands. I washed her to clean to wound and see if there were other wounds I had not seen and she enjoyed it, licked my face each time I was bending over. But she would only lie down, she would not stand up. It worried me. After half an hour Jesper and I agreed to call to Falun as they had vets on call. I wanted to be sure she could wait and even if it was now 8 in the evening, minus 18 degrees celcius outside and overtime for the vet our gut feeling told us we had to go. 

Namu 1 year old

And so we did. We arrived at the clinic in Falun where we had never been before and have to say the staff was so kind and proffesional. As us first they thought it was not that serious. A bite wound, some penicillin and some pain killer and we would be amazed to see how quickly dogs recover. Namu was lying on the table looking around, licking everybodyes hand looking happy. But after ten minutes the vet as us started to wonder why Namu would not stand up. He tryed to pinch her toes. First a bit, then harder and harder. No reaction. I could see in his face that this was not good. We decided to do an x-ray and the heartbreaking news, Namu´s lowest part of the back was broken. She would never walk again. My beautiful little girl who moved like nobody else. There was no choice for us than to say goodbye.

Namu 1½ year old

It is not possible to describe how bad Jesper and I feel today. So unfortunate that destiny could make this. She could as well had just had a wound and been okay. We feel so guilty, we blame ourselves, we think what could have been done differently, but know we can´t turn back time. This is without doubts the worst possible way I ever lost a dog. As a breeder it is heartbreaking because she was a bright star for the future, a beautiful healthy dog who had so much we had worked for years to get and my Kiiski´s little girl. As a dog owner it is undesribable. She was my dog, my pet, my companion who loved to go for walks and I will miss her happy face and character and for always feel guilty for the way she had to leave.

Below here are the last photos of Namu taken at Christmas with her enjoying her daily walk in the snow in the forrest. This is how I try to remember her.

My sweat little Namumus I am so so sorry...